The Women in My Family

When Mama took me home to La Union because of health conditions, I did not see any male figure in the house. I didn't come to Lolo who would supposedly carry me around. I did not see my father who supposedly discipline us. I went home to Lola Nena, my great grandmother; to Mommy, my grandmother, Mama who took care of me alone most of the time and Nikki, my too independent and well-behaved sister, who had a hand in taking care of me until I took to school.
Even before my parents' separation, Papa was always never around because he was in Pangasinan, supposedly working and growing the business. It's a wonder that we were never close. All I had were women in the family. Women who had careers and went out without a male clouding their judgement, constricting their freedom, telling them what to do with their lives. The women in my family were never a domesticated lot. They were out helping people, making money, doing good in school, showing off their talents, impressing their intelligence on every people they meet.
Lola, my great grandmother was a businesswoman. She was the matriarch in the family. She, along with her brothers ran the moviehouse, the bowling alley and the house up on the 3rd floor. She ran it like a general commands a battallion. She would follow my mother and auntie inside the movie house and spanked them if they so showed a bit of rebellion. She took Mama and Tita to the Holy Family dorm where they learned to wake up early, cook for the family, sew a few dresses, wash the plates, the list of household chores go on. By the time my mother went to UST for a Fine Arts degree, she was too used to doing a lot of things inside the house. Lola was the most famous name in the family, carrying both prestigious names from the Ilocandia. She is a Carbonell and married the diplomat of La Union, Camilo Osias. Although Osias was a name to be reckoned, Lola Nena was a woman of her own means. She was the socialite of her time and never a gossip to mar her perfect name. As intelligent as her husband, she was more than a match to Lolo Camilo. Politics was never a burden, in fact, she reveled in it. There was nothing that she cannot deal with, be it breeding or manners, she was the epitome of class.
Mommy, my grandmother, had a career of her own. Although she preferred to be low profile unlike her mother, Mommy went on to become one of the most sought-after social worker of her time. She was a board member of the Water District, President of Red Cross La Union chapter, President of the Family Planning of the Philippines and General Manager of the local trade business of San Fernando La Union. Everybody clung to her to get her favors, it's no wonder, she was always appointed to the seats she occupied by the heads of the local government. The Congressman and his wife constantly asks her to breakfast. Sometimes, she would let me come with her. They would tell stories and get her ideas. It's not surprising, she was the daughter of Severina Carbonell and Camilo Osias, she was breeding personified and a diplomat on her own. Even now, the former Governor of La Union does not fail to send her Christmas cards or a gift.
Mama is hard to describe. A survivor of a failed marriage, a single mom, creative and friendly, she is probably the most approachable person in my family. She borders on being an old school and the modern woman. She is the most liberated of the 3 elders. She is uncoventional and prefers to being a confidante and a mom than just being the mother who issues orders. She raised us single-handedly. She never failed to give us birthday parties at home and we invited friends over. All our friends know her. The moms and dads of our friends know her. When all her friends' kids got into drugs and premature pregnancies, she was most admired because her kids stayed intact. We were never involved in scandals or the like but we were fronts for spelling bees, essay writing contests, quiz bees, singing contests and dancing contests. We were the kids who love to be with Mama and everything is always fun because she was there to guide us everytime and fight those our detractors. When you see a woman raise her children alone, that is no doubt a very big feat. Being alone is always hard, but she would later find out that it was worth it.
Nikki is my only sibling. She is older by 5 years. According to my father, she is the perfect child. She was well-behaved, she learns fast and very talented. She's the kind of person that does not need to study because she will always pass everything. Her intelligence is innate, she did not need to learn it. She's the kid who was always with the elders because they like her so much because she wasn't rowdy like the other kids. She is "bibo". She was the kind of kid who'd listen to my uncle learn about medicine and then learn it herself, all on her own and in such a short time. When it was time to choose a college, she chose UP and went on to take the entrance exam. When everyone else had second choices, she had none. She knew she was going to pass. She was the kind of person who got her name posted on billboards, flyers, posters because she was best in something or got exceptional grades. Talk about surpassing everything! Even when she gave birth, she gave birth to a surprisingly big baby!9.2 pounds! When people meet her, they can't help but be awed. The attitude, the appeal, the brains. It's the classic brain and beauty woman! As my sister, she will listen to you and never shows that she does not appreciate what you think. We stick together like gum. She is the only one who can greatly influence my decisions. I follow her, she follows me.
These are the women in my life. We had very little male influence. It probably would have been great if we had the chance, but I guess, our personalities make up for what we lack. We're very bullish sometimes but soft when need be. We have assumed the positions of the men in our family because we had to and we've never regretted it. Why should we? It was what God gave us. It's never a burden, it's a blessing in fact. If we turned it into burdens, then we oudln't become the pesonalities that we are now. This is who we are. These are the women in my life and this is the only family I have.